A normal day in my life

Hello World. I have a really really bad headache right now that refuses to go away. I popped a paracetamol more than half an hour ago and it doesn't seem to be working. Like my right eye hurts. So bad I just want to blind myself. 

Anywho, if I don't manage to do anything else, I will have done this. Keep this up. And I will have something that I can pat myself on the back for.

So yesterday was a good day and a bad day. It was good because I hung out with the senior and her friends. Not exclusively of course. Her friends were around. But it was still good fun. And as creepy as I am going to sound saying this, she touched me several times. Light touches on the arm, a few times. So I was like *yayyyyyyy* inside my head. I wanted to tell her she looked really cute (which she did) but I never got round to it. I didn't see her at all today. Which really sucks. But I know she's at this house party right about now. And because she is at a party, there are no updates on the blog. So dry day today.

Anyways I was talking about yesterday. After spending time with person of interest, I spent some time with a senior that I really like (in the non-romantic way). And after that joked around with a few classmates. So it was a good day for me.

It was bad because a lot of shit is going on with my roommate and I feel totally helpless about the situation. But I told her I would do everything I possibly could and we just spent time just comforting each other with things we couldn't tell anyone.

So that's what happened yesterday.

I wish I could be more profound, but I think the paracetamol is finally kicking in. I feel my eyelids closing. Profundity can wait. 

Till next time.

The things I do

At any point of time in life, I will have something I've wanted to do. Right now, I want to colour my hair blue. which I will eventually, hopefully, sooner arather than later. 

Anyhow, so these things that I want to do start off as something I should do once in life. It then becomes something I MUST try. And eventually, the thought of it consumes me till I do it. This process can take varying amounts of time. Some things will take years and some just a few months. 

So one of the things I'd been wanting to do for quite a while now was colouring my hair red. Which I did about a month ago. Now its losing colour and turning brown and also why I want to go blue. But as much as I loved it, it wasn't exactly what I'd wanted (the colour didn't come out that good) and so I was a little disappointed. So there's this little voice inside my head that says that we'll go red again in the future. And properly this time. But since the beast has been partly satisfied, we'll have to leave that be for now. So next thing to do is go blue. But then again, its a little bit of a problem when I'm allergic to the stuff that colour is made of. So there needs to be more research done on it.

Another thing that I has ALWAYS wanted to do was go bald. Which I did in late September of last year. As awesome as it was and as awesome as I thought i looked with the 2-5 mm fuzz, my hair isn't the type to keep cropped I really. Well at least not so  closely cropped. Unlike other very lucky individuals whose hair sticks to their scalp after a little bit of growth, mine stood straight UP for 3 months!
So even in haircuts,I am an all or nothing person I discover.

Anywho, Im hoping I get to do the blue soon. 

Till next time. Ciao

Freaking Out

So like I promised, more posts. Regular ones. And I know I'm talking to no one here but I really need to get doing shit I like and stop complaining about how I have no opporturnities blah blah blah...

I DO have opportunities now. And that is another story for another day.  

So college life has been interesting lately because I have the giantest crush on someone in college. The person is my senior (well academically at least). I was hoping to avoid putting off talking about this when my mind was in a more coherent state and not so much of a puddle. But since I am currently freaking out, I need to write about it. Like I've got butterflies in my stomach, I'm nervous as hell, my stomach feels like... well like i need to go to the bathroom and my heart rate , phew, at the risk of sounding cliché, my heart is beating like I just ran a marathon.

But before I tell you, universe, WHY exactly it is that I'm freaking out, it would do well to tell you how it started. Well even if you aren't interested, I'm going to tell you anyhow.  Because quite frankly, this is my space. Hahahahaha.

So, University starts July 2013. I move into my hostel complex on a Saturday. College is to start on Monday. I unpack like a crazy demented person. I have everything, well almost everything, cleared by the next morning. There are a few cardboard boxes lying around in the room. I go out. On my way back, I lose my way. I have no clue where I am. I end up having to walk for about three kilometres. I have blisters on my feet so Im annoyed as hell, I call my friend and rant to her. I reach the hostel and sit in the mess of cardboard boxes that is my room.

So there I am, annoyed, in pain, cribbing to my friend how stupid I felt for getting off 2 stops early, a few people walk into the room. Frankly, I am in no mood to be cheery and have a round of introductions and also, Im still on call with my friend.

So three people walk in, their faces don't register with me. I get this odd vibe from one of them. One of them is this short tiny girl with short cropped curly hair. This isn't what  notice at first. The first thing I see.... Actually I don't remember. I just remember that whatever about her(yes, her) struck me so strongly I couldn't look at her again. They look around the room, my cupboard, pass a few comments, ask me my name (I didn't ask them) and they leave. 

The next day or one of the earlier days at university, I REALLY see her. She's striking. I act like a total creep and follow her with my eyes for as long as I can for a couple of weeks. Then out of the blue, I decide she isn't a nice person and that I can't like someone like that. (I don't even know her. Have never spoken to her at this point). 

So the semester passes, the year ends. New semester begins and for some reason, I begin crushing on her with a vengeance. 

And well, I stalk her on the interweb. And talk to her (in person). And things are going well. (By this I mean I am acting like a tween, not even a teen and being all whiny and  annoying even in my head). 

And then, this morning, I go to her blog (as usual) and lo and behold! what do I see?? She has reblogged something from me. I am confused. I go to my dashboard. I have a new follower. IT IS HER. Me --> O_O
My brain is going (aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ...)

And yeah, that is why I am freaking out. Because she's following my blog. And I don't know if she knows it is me. And I'm freaking out all over again. One of my posts talks about how I like a senior. 

So yeah. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

Pray for me universe. 

Resolution

It has been a long time indeed since I've blogged. 

A thousand things have transpired since I last wrote here and they seem almost insignificant in retrospect. However, I realise they were important enough for me to blog (or write) about.

Let me see, significant things that have happened since I last wrote...

Ah, I see.. I'd just finished with college then. Its almost been a year since then.

Well after my rather uneventful 3 years at college got over, I went travelling with a friend who I ended up sleeping with because I thought I liked him. Well, it wasn't bad at the time so I guess I shouldn't complain. 

Thankfully,the place I went to, Hampi, was as gorgeous as it gets and I really can't bring myself to regret that trip. Except maybe for the fact that I spent waaaaayyyy too much money which I am always short of.

After the trip ended I went home, tried to keep busy, started passport proceedings (which is still going on), tried to play the piano whenever I could manage, at a whole lot of food and turned into a balloon. 

I also applied to a few colleges for  a Master's Program. Well mostly APU and JNU. The latter I had no hopes for and the former I was banking on. 

Which is why when the acceptance letter came I was overjoyed. Never been a competitive one this one. I was happy. 

And my baby sister came home as well and I got to spend a little time with her so I was really happy cos of that too.

All this while, I had this weird thing going on with the friend. 

Really don't know what it was.

Then it was time for graduation. And I met all my friends put on a gorgeous sari.
And I slept with the friend again. Admittedly it was kinda exciting.

And people went away. And I decided to stay back in the city. 

Between then and Uni started, i travelled to Goa. With people who are friends but with whom I never want to ever travel ever again.

Then Uni started. Lots of new people. Absentee roomate.Bitches all around. And a few kindly souls.
I had a major phase of depression where I seriously contemplated suicide. The only thing that kept me going was skype calls with one of my closest friends and the inappropriate conversations I had with her.

And there was a lot of smoking up initially. But I realised it messed with my balance system badly and super magnified my vertigo. So now I've had to stop. But it was fun. I thought I would turn into a more social person but I haven't.

Well the year went by in a blur. 2013 was a really quick year. Nothing great. Nothing at all.

But the highlight of the year was the college immersion trip to Uttarakhand. But that deserves a series of posts of its own. 

And here we are, almost at the end of the first month of the new year. I just turned 23. And I feel no different.

Why is this post called resolution? Becasue I resloved to be a happier person, a less content person, a less okay person. I resolved to feel like I haven't in years and years. 

And its one resolution I intend to keep.

And also write more frequently of course.