Freaking Out

So like I promised, more posts. Regular ones. And I know I'm talking to no one here but I really need to get doing shit I like and stop complaining about how I have no opporturnities blah blah blah...

I DO have opportunities now. And that is another story for another day.  

So college life has been interesting lately because I have the giantest crush on someone in college. The person is my senior (well academically at least). I was hoping to avoid putting off talking about this when my mind was in a more coherent state and not so much of a puddle. But since I am currently freaking out, I need to write about it. Like I've got butterflies in my stomach, I'm nervous as hell, my stomach feels like... well like i need to go to the bathroom and my heart rate , phew, at the risk of sounding cliché, my heart is beating like I just ran a marathon.

But before I tell you, universe, WHY exactly it is that I'm freaking out, it would do well to tell you how it started. Well even if you aren't interested, I'm going to tell you anyhow.  Because quite frankly, this is my space. Hahahahaha.

So, University starts July 2013. I move into my hostel complex on a Saturday. College is to start on Monday. I unpack like a crazy demented person. I have everything, well almost everything, cleared by the next morning. There are a few cardboard boxes lying around in the room. I go out. On my way back, I lose my way. I have no clue where I am. I end up having to walk for about three kilometres. I have blisters on my feet so Im annoyed as hell, I call my friend and rant to her. I reach the hostel and sit in the mess of cardboard boxes that is my room.

So there I am, annoyed, in pain, cribbing to my friend how stupid I felt for getting off 2 stops early, a few people walk into the room. Frankly, I am in no mood to be cheery and have a round of introductions and also, Im still on call with my friend.

So three people walk in, their faces don't register with me. I get this odd vibe from one of them. One of them is this short tiny girl with short cropped curly hair. This isn't what  notice at first. The first thing I see.... Actually I don't remember. I just remember that whatever about her(yes, her) struck me so strongly I couldn't look at her again. They look around the room, my cupboard, pass a few comments, ask me my name (I didn't ask them) and they leave. 

The next day or one of the earlier days at university, I REALLY see her. She's striking. I act like a total creep and follow her with my eyes for as long as I can for a couple of weeks. Then out of the blue, I decide she isn't a nice person and that I can't like someone like that. (I don't even know her. Have never spoken to her at this point). 

So the semester passes, the year ends. New semester begins and for some reason, I begin crushing on her with a vengeance. 

And well, I stalk her on the interweb. And talk to her (in person). And things are going well. (By this I mean I am acting like a tween, not even a teen and being all whiny and  annoying even in my head). 

And then, this morning, I go to her blog (as usual) and lo and behold! what do I see?? She has reblogged something from me. I am confused. I go to my dashboard. I have a new follower. IT IS HER. Me --> O_O
My brain is going (aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ...)

And yeah, that is why I am freaking out. Because she's following my blog. And I don't know if she knows it is me. And I'm freaking out all over again. One of my posts talks about how I like a senior. 

So yeah. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

Pray for me universe.